First Date: Ashtanga Yoga

My husband and I just went out for the first time without our baby since he was born six months ago. The baby stayed with his grandparents while we went out on our first date on Saturday. . .

. . . to a yoga studio at 8 am.

It felt amazing to be side by side on our hot pink mats (his little sister gave him hers) beginning to learn something new together. Our teacher was a delightful, eager young woman, gratifyingly impressed by our strength and flexibility. We were each focused on our own practice but I was very aware that he was just behind me. Not having the baby there reminded me that we are more than a Mommy and Daddy loving the same precious child, but are also still two individuals in harmony who choose to be side by side taking on the world together. It was exhilarating to be so present in my body and to find such clarity in my mind and emotions. When we stepped out of the studio together, our impressions and thoughts were spilling out of us, and our conversation coming home in the car felt full of meaning and revelation.

And here's why I think that was a better first date than dinner and a movie:

1. You come away feeling energized (not full).

2. You are making good use of your time.

The ideal flow state of yoga requires focus which is almost impossible when your baby is there (I do actually do postnatal yoga with my baby and that is wonderful but is a very different activity.) so you are making optimal use of baby-free time. Whereas, we can take our baby with us out to dinner. (He is still only six months old and is a smiling and contented baby most of the time.)

Or, if this is a "real" first date, even if you don't click, you had the experience of a yoga class (not an awkward dinner) together.

3. You are experiencing something together which gives you something of substance to talk about afterwards.

This helps avoid awkward first-date conversation when you don't yet know each other well and also frees you from first-date-after-baby conversation that revolves around the baby.

4. You are actively engaged in an experience together.

Watching a movie together does give you something to talk about afterwards, but it is a passive not an active experience. Doing something such as yoga together gives you the opportunity to share how you felt in your body and how you learn.

5. You are beginning something new at which you can continue to work together and gain mastery.

As opposed to decadent indulgence or comfortable laziness, this date is mindful engagement in the moment and reinforcement of a healthy habit. If all goes well, an obvious second date presents itself.

6. You will be particularly open to connecting with each other afterwards.

Yoga was designed to prepare you for mediation. Mediation is the easing of stress and striving: a sense of openness and one-ness in which revelations and relationships easily bloom.